kristin has been a bad kristin
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
