maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Of course I have a pirate flag
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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