Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
She's JV to your varsity
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Randomize
