Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'm just crazy horny about you
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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