cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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