Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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