I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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