Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
