I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
