moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize