you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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