I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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