I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
So apparently I’m into choking now
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