She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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