He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Randomize
