We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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