You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
