How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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