I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
