Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize