not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
bring money and cleavage
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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