Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
