I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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