I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
