my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
