he thought i was a dude.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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