Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
