please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
