I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize