Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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