I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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