i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
