considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
