I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Boobs are out for the taking
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
