turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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