I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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