Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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