ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I want to walk on stilts...naked
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
