At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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