I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
