You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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