Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
