How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize