I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize