Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize