Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
