are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
