i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
