So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
