I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
