I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
