HIV tests are more positive than that guy
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
