scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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