Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
