; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
