i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize