someone get that fucking seahorse.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
