My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize