I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
