omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I wish i was in the wii world.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize