just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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