What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
