how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Randomize
