whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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