i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
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he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Operation Purity has been aborted
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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