you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
then he tried to convert me to islam
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize