Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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