your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
